that's an acceptable place to lick
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
