I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
