even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
