before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
