U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
