yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
