Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
