my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
