I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize