I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I CAN MOONWALK!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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