but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
