it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
