I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
