My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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