just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
