So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
