My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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