How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize