I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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