Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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