Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
