so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
well you can't waste a boner
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
