Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
