Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
