She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
