so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
