Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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