areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
