Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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