I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
