I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize