I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
