im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
