There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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