Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
