i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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