Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
