this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
