i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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