One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
