Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
