So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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