Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
