Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
