maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
