so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize