Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize