Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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