I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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