He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
