Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
