I wish I only lived at night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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