Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
