i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How's work?
Spinning.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
