hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
